How do I find a seller's real motivation?
Ask three things early: where they are going, why the move is happening, and when they need to be there. Say why you are asking, repeat their answers back in their words, and use them again when you offer options.
Read the transcript
- We're just seeing what it's worth, really.
- Maybe we'll list in the spring.
- We're still thinking about it.
- Spring's great! The market's moving, though, so you'll want to list sooner.
- Can I come by this week and tell you what it's worth?
- After every practice call, your card arrives: what worked, and the one thing to fix.
- The call trains four moves.
- Ask where they are going, why the move is happening, and when it has to be done by.
- Say why you are asking, before you ask.
- Then ask one more: once they are there, what changes for them?
- Repeat their answers back in their words, and check you got it right.
- Sellers rarely give the real reason on a first call.
- Nobody has asked properly.
- Motivation is not a lever: it is what makes the advice right.
- Without where, why and when, you are guessing, and the seller can hear it.
- Practice it until it sounds like you.
- Each call runs as long as the conversation needs,
- and you can make as many as you want.
- Practice free at 10before10.com/try.
Drafted with AI by the 10before10 team, reviewed and approved by Grant Freer and Gia Freer, licensed Florida real estate brokers. Updated October 26, 2026.
Why this comes up
Sellers rarely give the real reason on a first call. They say they are thinking about it, or seeing what it is worth, or that they might list in the spring. The real reason is a job, a parent who needs them, a baby on the way, a payment that has gotten heavy, a marriage ending.
They are not hiding it. Nobody has asked properly, and the agents who did ask wanted it as a lever.
Motivation is not a lever. It is what makes the advice right. Whether to sell at all, when to list, how to price, what to fix first: every one of those depends on where the seller is going, why the move is happening, and when they need to be there.
Without those three, you are guessing, and the seller can hear that you are guessing.
The three are easy to remember as where, why and when. Where they are going. Why the move is happening, or why not yet.
When it has to be done by. Find all three early, then ask one more: once they are there, what changes for them. That fourth question is where the real answer usually lives, and it is the one most agents never ask.
What to say
These are examples in plain words, not lines to memorize. Say them the way you actually talk.
"Where are you headed once it sells? I ask because the timing on the other end changes what I'd suggest on this one."
The reason comes with the question. A seller who knows why you want to know answers plainly, and the answer to where often carries the why with it: the new job, the parents, the smaller place.
"What's behind the move? I ask because the advice is different if it's something you're going toward than if it's something you need to be done with."
This is the personal one, so the purpose goes first, then the question. If they answer briefly and close the door, take what they gave you and move on. You can come back to it later if they open it.
"And when would you like to be there by? Is that a hope, or a hard date?"
The second half matters. A hope means the timing is flexible and the price conversation can be patient. A hard date, a school year, a start date, a closing on the other end, is a condition.
You plan around a condition. You do not sell against it.
"So, Denver, for the new job, by August, and the main thing is being settled before the school year starts. Have I got that right?"
Repeat and approve. Their answers, in their words, played back and checked. This is not a technique.
It is how they find out you were listening, and it is the sentence you will use again, almost word for word, when you offer options and when you ask for the meeting.
What not to do
Do not ask all three like a form. Where, why, when, in a row, with no reason and no reaction, sounds like an intake call. Ask one, listen, repeat it back, then ask the next when it fits.
The conversation should feel like interest, because it is.
Do not turn the answer into fear. "Since you have to be out by August, you'll want to list this week" uses their situation against them, and they feel it. The honest version gives them the option and the reason side by side: here are two ways to hit August, and here is what each one costs.
Then quiet.
Do not tell them what they feel. "That must be stressful" and "you must be excited" are guesses dressed as empathy. Ask instead.
"How are you feeling about the move?" costs nothing and gets a real answer.
How to practice it
Have a colleague play a seller holding a card with a stated reason and a real one underneath. The stated reason is the one they give when asked why; the real one only comes out if you ask what changes for them once they are there. Your job is all three questions, each with its purpose stated, then the fourth question, then repeat and approve.
Run it five times with a different real reason each time. Read your card and the call's transcript for the place where you moved on without playing it back. That is the habit to build, and 10before10™'s card listens for it on this drill.
Honest answers
Related answers
Make one practice call. See your card.
A prospect who sounds real raises this exact moment. Ten minutes, in the browser, no account. The scorecard tells you the one thing to fix.